Where have all the zombies gone?

       I’m sure if you think hard about all the fads that have passed your way in your life, you can come up with a few, some of them real lollapaloozas. One of the most intriguing, with the least scattered bits of truth trailing alongside deals with this zombie craze. Well, let’s see…We’ve got the tee shirts, revival of the movies, and they’re even mixed into the TV commercials, but the flame thrower that lights up the fifty foot cake is that the CDC has issued an actual report on what to do in case of a zombie attack. Well, make sure you get your copy of this factual information packed manual to tell you precisely what to do if these radio-active remnants come for you. Let’s review. Now, say you’re home and you’re watching…oh I don’t know…”Carnival of Souls” on TV late at night and you suddenly see a pale clammy looking face peering in your window, and you’re running low on snacks at the same time, then you can do two things at once. Get yourself another box of Fiddle-Faddle and load your shotgun and empty a shell or two into your uninvited guest. This way you can munch your way through the rest of the movie while leaving a friendly warning to the rest of the moldy parade of pungent puppet heads who still don’t get it. But fear not, as long as you’ve read the proviso from yet another government agency telling you to lock and load up on fatness and firepower then all is right with the world. Isn’ it? Let’s look at the other side of this thing, shall we? These half wits didn’t ask to be brought back to life, they didn’t want to wander the streets aimlessly looking for fast food that won’t sit still, and worst of all their hair is a mess. And now they’ve got the uninfected population shooting at them. Oh, don’t let this get you down…go to your closest guns and ammo shop and pick up a weapon that’s right for you, one that feels right in your hands, with all the bullets you can carry, after all, we still have the right to bear arms, don’t we? Then head out to the market and grab some fat boy face stuffers, go home and wait. I’m sure that sooner or later a whole host of the horrendous undead will rear their ugly heads your way, then you can pop junk food in your mouth while popping caps in their heads. After all, isn’t this what these agencies want? You know, what’s best for us? Well, get going…I hear Suzy Q’s and Snowballs are on sale this week. Happy hunting!